Hotel room observations
1. The maximum rate that can be charged on my room, according to the placard on the bathroom door, is $2000 per diem. One wonders under what cataclysmic situation such a rate would be charged. Some group set this rate, as a preposterous hedge against some unthinkably big convention in town, perhaps. Or maybe as a contingency for when California goes a-sliding off the shelf in a pile of lawyers and Chardonnay. Because then Vegas would be the Asilomar of the West.
2. The faucets in the bath both turn clockwise which even so is counterintuitive. It mixes me up every time. To make matters worse, they also turn counterclockwise, but when one affects this rotation, nothing comes out, which for all the world seems like there is no water. Perhaps they wash too many towels in the counterclockwise faucet world.
3. Why is it always so dark in hotel rooms? All the lights are on, and I swear one could illuminate the room better with two candles.
Tonight I really wanted the chef's special in the steakhouse, which starts with a K but which suffix escapes my ken at the moment. However it was $27, and the glass of water was extra, so I went for the congealment au poivre (the buffet, so called as it besets my stomach so). It was no better than yesterday, though costlier. In fact some of the food was surely on that table yesterday, re-steamed, as it were.
However if you must, wait on the noodle chef and tip him a dollar. In a trice, he made up a fantastic shrimp Alfredo with garlic, worth the price of admission, and the water is free. It was actually hot and not a gelid mass. Gelid rhymes a bit, in an allegorical world, with squalid, yes? I forewent the free margarita, only because I've had the best, and the swaggering elan needed to even acquire the ingredients, much less immisciate them in heavenly juxtaposition, is just not in this zip code. You get your choice of that green slushy and a free beer, see? But what is a single draft beer but a taunt for more? For that matter, what is a single free substandard Margarita, but a sadly velveteen-painted Elvis on the tattered history of the Strip?
The buffeting coffee was nefarious. Worse: multifarious. It darkened my very axons, even privy to the diluent cream provided for free. However, the coffee bar in the casino near the check-in robots is very good, particularly the espresso. Do not ask for a double espresso though - it pays to know the local idiom. I asked for a double espresso, and was asked in return, in complete innocence, "what size?" This happened in Italy as well, but I figured it was because there my barista and I were speaking two different languages. I will excuse him this one blooper, however, as he was probably agog and contemplative from talking to two young hoochies, in line before me but not for coffee, who could not possibly have been over the age of sixteen.
M
2. The faucets in the bath both turn clockwise which even so is counterintuitive. It mixes me up every time. To make matters worse, they also turn counterclockwise, but when one affects this rotation, nothing comes out, which for all the world seems like there is no water. Perhaps they wash too many towels in the counterclockwise faucet world.
3. Why is it always so dark in hotel rooms? All the lights are on, and I swear one could illuminate the room better with two candles.
Tonight I really wanted the chef's special in the steakhouse, which starts with a K but which suffix escapes my ken at the moment. However it was $27, and the glass of water was extra, so I went for the congealment au poivre (the buffet, so called as it besets my stomach so). It was no better than yesterday, though costlier. In fact some of the food was surely on that table yesterday, re-steamed, as it were.
However if you must, wait on the noodle chef and tip him a dollar. In a trice, he made up a fantastic shrimp Alfredo with garlic, worth the price of admission, and the water is free. It was actually hot and not a gelid mass. Gelid rhymes a bit, in an allegorical world, with squalid, yes? I forewent the free margarita, only because I've had the best, and the swaggering elan needed to even acquire the ingredients, much less immisciate them in heavenly juxtaposition, is just not in this zip code. You get your choice of that green slushy and a free beer, see? But what is a single draft beer but a taunt for more? For that matter, what is a single free substandard Margarita, but a sadly velveteen-painted Elvis on the tattered history of the Strip?
The buffeting coffee was nefarious. Worse: multifarious. It darkened my very axons, even privy to the diluent cream provided for free. However, the coffee bar in the casino near the check-in robots is very good, particularly the espresso. Do not ask for a double espresso though - it pays to know the local idiom. I asked for a double espresso, and was asked in return, in complete innocence, "what size?" This happened in Italy as well, but I figured it was because there my barista and I were speaking two different languages. I will excuse him this one blooper, however, as he was probably agog and contemplative from talking to two young hoochies, in line before me but not for coffee, who could not possibly have been over the age of sixteen.
M
posted by Michael Moore @ 10:18 PM
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